You’re Not Going Crazy: He is Gaslighting You!
Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather

You’re Not Going Crazy: He is Gaslighting You!

The Mind Games People Play

All this week we have been focusing on Love Rejuvenation that is how to revive, reboot, reconnect and reignite your mojo! And a huge part of rejuvenating is recognizing patterns and breaking them. So in the spirit of recognizing patterns and the games that some people play, I want to talk with you about this topic of gaslighting.

Although you many not be familiar with this term, there is a good chance that you have been gaslighted by someone in your life. This type of mind game is quite common in unhealthy relationships, as well as with friends, family or even employers.

At first you may not recognize that someone, especially your boo, would have the audacity to try and manipulate you, but it happens more often then you think. A person that uses that plays mind games is usually very skilled at doing it and then, smoothing things over.

But, let’s be clear, this is one of the most dangerous and effectives forms of emotional abuse that is intentional by narcissist and sociopaths as a means to try and control and confuse you. The goal is to lower your self-esteem, so that you become somewhat insecure, co-dependent and ultimately question your own judgment. A person may use harmful and destructive words and actions to deflect the blame, hide things, move things, withhold information, lie, finally deny everything and then turn around and blame you for everything.  For example, you partner might say things that insinuate that you are over-weight and then deny saying or meaning them – “You took what I said totally out of context, you are so sensitive.”

The term gaslighting was inspired by a 1938 play and a 1944 movie “Gas Light” were a husband systematically manipulates his wife to make her feel like she was going crazy. For example, he purposely dims the gaslights in the house and told his wife that she was imaging it.

How do you know if you are being gaslighted?

Here are 6 signs:

  1. Something is “off” about your friend, partner, boss, or other person in your life, but you can’t explain or pinpoint what.
  2. You are constantly second-guessing yourself
  3. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
  4. You often feel confused, disoriented and even crazy at work.
  5. You feel the need to apologize all the time for what you do or who you are.
  6. You never quite feel “good enough” and try to live up to the expectations and demands of others, even if they are unreasonable or harm you in some way.

 

There are 3 stages that gaslighting victims go through.

The first is disbelief. At first you may think that your conversation or interaction with the abuser (family member, friend, boss, or partner) is strange.

Next is defense, you might start to speak up for yourself to the abuser, but instead of apologizing and owning the insults, they tell you that you are overly sensitive, paranoid, mentally unstable, silly or they were joking, or perhaps you boss may tell you that you are over-reacting and just stressed out.

Finally you may start to feel depressed, overly sad and distant from friends and family. Even if you don’t recognize your partner abuse, you may notice that you are not excited about sharing your relationship and your friends probably don’t even like him.

If you suspect that you are being gaslighted, feel free to click here to set up a <<discovery session>> so that we may explore your personal circumstances. Remember, knowledge is power.   Once you recognize the game you can change the dynamics of the situation and rejuvenate your love by taking back your power and joy and reclaiming the confident woman you once were.

Your Girl – The Healthy Love Coach!

Camille-Signature-4

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather

There are 2 comments so far

  • Sharon Farmer
    11 months ago · Reply

    Camille
    It’s U believesble that u hit this right on the nose!! I was marriedx13 yrs and my ex was a manipulative, liar and cheater!! We have 3 kids and he LEFT ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE!! He left his 3 kids and me and completely blamed me for his leaving!! And as if that’s not enuff, he stole my $$ bc I gave him the duty to pay bills!!! Ugh I HATE THIS MAN!!! I HATE THAT HES MY KIDS FATHER!! He is the worst human being!! Ugh
    I’m always stressed out over things that he does!!!
    -Sharon

    • Camille Author
      10 months ago · Reply

      Hello Sharon,

      I am so sorry that you had such a horrible experience, and I am happy to see you have survived and are moving forward. JOIN ME for my FREE Masterclass series where you will get additional support from me and a community of supportive women. : http://bit.ly/2bm5sJZ

Leave a Comment

Don't worry. We never use your email for spam.

Don't worry. We never use your email for spam.