Are You Looking for Mr. Right or Dr. Phil?
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As a coach, I am frequently asked how to deal with sharing past traumatic experiences or current insecurities in a healthy way in a new relationship.

I usually respond to this type of question with a question:

  • What is your purpose for sharing?
  • What outcome are you expecting from sharing?
  • Are you trying to elicit sympathy?
  • Are you looking for him to fix you?
  • Are you trying to manipulate him?
  • Are you trying to subconsciously sabotage the relationship?
  • Are you trying to make excuses for your behavior?
  • Are you trying to recreate your toxic relationship experience?

The first thing I want you to know is that there is nothing wrong with sharing yourself slowly with your partner organically when appropriate, this will actually deepen your connection. But having diarrhea of the mouth all over him on the first 3 dates, telling about all the intricate details of your past relationships, or describing every horrific detail of being raped, is totally unnecessary, especially if it’s unsolicited and a turn off and the reason why you are probably not making it to the next date.

So what are your motivations and intentions? Are you looking for Your Mr. Right or Dr. Phil?

Your man is designed to protect, provide and profess his love for you – HE IS NOT EQUIPPED TO HEAL YOU! – And it’s not fair to expect him to fix old painful wounds. It is NOT fair to expect pay you retribution for the sins, errors and offenses of others. It’s not his responsible to exert himself to make up for all of the terrible things that happened to you.

Not to mention the fact that you put him in a position where he feels helpless – Because he can’t fix your past!

You could potential turn him off sexually, when you describe your abuse or rape in detail – Because the image will remain stuck in his head.

And although, you feel that you are being honest… He will think you are a whore and NOT wife material – if you tell him about ALL of the men you’ve been with.

If you need to talk, do your inner work and get healed talk to a coach or a therapist.

If you want a healthy relationship, you must create the awareness that there is probably a “grown little girl” inside of you who was hurt, broken, disappointed, abandoned, abused (sexually, physically or emotionally), bullied or mistreated and deep down she’s still trying to heal the broken pieces and childhood wounds through her romantic adult relationships with men.

Subconsciously, you may feel if you can attract a man and get him to fall in love you, it will erase all of the bad experience that caused you to feel diminished, unlovable, worthless, shame, blame and guilt.

This is a dangerous game that you’ve been playing and the reason you continue to attract the wrong type of men over and over again – who play you!

Here’s the real deal, you must recognize that your healing wounds does not come from men, education, money or material things. The feeling of love, worthy, confidant and enough doesn’t come from outside of you – it comes from INSIDE OF YOU!

If you are ready to stop handing men the blueprint to hurt you, use you, screw you over and leave you feeling empty and diminished then join me for the 2nd Annual Love Rejuvenation Retreat.

This is the only retreat designed to help women look at what’s going inside, get out of your way, let go of the past, do your inner work in a way that will fill you up, speak up for what you need, set boundaries, activate your femininity and open your heart to love – The Ultimate step by step blueprint to Rejuvenating Your Love and Life!

Click here to schedule time to chat with Coach Camille! 

Your Girl – The Healthy Love Coach!

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